


Tony Smacks People With His Stick

by xphotic (rabbit_hole)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blind Character, F/M, Fluff, Good Loki, Humor, M/M, blind Tony, blind!Tony, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 05:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6272479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbit_hole/pseuds/xphotic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By smack I mean tase. </p><p>AU where Tony is blind, Loki sort of ran away from home before the coronation and ends up being one of the Avengers instead of Thor (who is also the unintentional villain).</p><p>(This is probably just gonna be a one-shot. I have waaaaay too much on my hands at the moment.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony Smacks People With His Stick

"Is this him?"

Someone is roughly grabbing him by his shoulder, holding him upright while the pieces of duct tape over his eyes and mouth are brutally ripped off. Together with most of his goatee and eyebrows, probably. Maybe that's a bit of an exageration, but it sure felt like it.

"Yeah... Tony Stark, right?"

"Y'got me..." he grunts out, still woozy from being sleep-gassed. Apparently that's the answer they want, because they proceed to unceremoniously pull him up to his feet, with a whispered threat to shoot him if he dares do anythink 'funny'. Two... guys? They sounds kind of young and— inexperienced. Haven't quite got the threatening terrorist voice down pat yet.

Oh right! Terrorists. At the airport. Nice.

Memories come flooding back to him as he stumbles foreward for a step or two, before he lets himself fall forward on top of what he hopes would be a very tall Norse God, if his estimation is right. Because Loki was nearby when they got gassed, right? He remembers being with the guy, but who knows if people moved him when they were tying everyone up and dragged him off somewhere.

Tony ends up missing by a bit and slams face-first onto the floor. But at least he located said Norse God's legs, which is hard to mistake because he still wears those ridiculously heavy Asgardian boots that he is so attached to. Intentionally stepping on them in hopes of waking Loki up, he makes a show of being clumsy while his kidnappers tries to drag him away to who-knows-where. The grip on his shoulder is really, really starting to hurt and oh is that cold thing pressing against his head a gun?

 _"Stop that."_ Someone's clearly getting flustered. Tony ignores him and continues tripping over things, making their escape with him painfully slow. The sad part? He isn't even trying. Balance is still off since he literally just woke up from a drug induced sleep, plus there are like tied-up people everywhere on the floor. Asshole 1 and 2 somehow think that shaking him more would make him go faster. It wouldn't.

"For fuck's sake—"

"Friendly reminder that I'm blind? As in I literally can't see where I'm going?"

"Shut up."

"I'd really appreciate it if you unbind my hands, actually," he continues, and shake his head as an attempt to clear the rest of the sleep that still followed. A-hole 2, who is standing behind him, decides to whack him with his gun. Once again, Tony has no idea how this would help them move him faster. "I seriously _can't_ walk like this. I— I need my _cane_."

"You do not need your cane," A-hole 1 hissed, but A-hole 2 seems to be considering it, loosening his grip on Tony and lowering his gun away from his temple.

"You can tell me what I do and don't need after you have ripped out both of your eyeballs, thanks." He makes a point to sit down defiantly, glaring up to his captors' general direction. These two apparently need him for something, and they need him to be alive and awake for it since they went through the hassle of waking him up and not kill him. "Cane. Now, please? The really long, white stick thing with the red stripes? Should be around here somewhere."

There is a sigh from behind him, and A-hole 2's hold on his shoulder disappeared. A-hole 1 is still seething in front of him, and growled out another warning that's just a little chirp compared to what Tony gets from Loki on a daily basis. But he too sighs after a second or two, and walks behind Tony to cut away the rope around his wrists.

A moment later, his cane is shoved into his hands and he feebly grabs it, spitting out a 'thanks' as he relaxes ever so slightly at the feeling of the familiar weight.

Then he grins.

Deft fingers immediately grabs for the rounded tip, pulling it off with barely any effort. _Cackles_ as he throws it onto the floor. Pop. Hisssssssssss...

The entire hall is in thick smoke in seconds, and it only takes him one more to spring up, twist his cane open into in halves at the middle before shoving the exposed ends at his kidnappers. Electricity buzzes to life, crackling in the air as they spasm under the current (and just to make sure, Tony counts to ten) before the cane is pulled away, letting them drop onto the floor in two sizzling heaps.

The two ends of his cane is held together by a thin, but strong metal cable, and they snaps back together with a click of a button.

What? He wouldn't be Tony Stark if his stick isn't smancy.

  
\-------wheeeeeeee------

  
Loki remains completely still until he heard the smoke bomb goes off, and starts thrashing and grunting when he is sure that Stark has subdued the two captors. This lack of magic is annoying, but he can't do anything about it now.

"This you, Lokes?" A series of taps follows, before something hits his knee. He kicks him as payback for stepping on him earlier, and Stark just smacks him on his backside with his stick (it was probably unintentional, but one can never know for sure with Stark) before dropping down beside him to cut away his bindings.

Loki pulls back his taped eyes just in time to see a shadowy figure approaching behind the smoke, and shoves the blind mortal down just as a bullet come whizzing past. Not waiting for any protests, he pulls Stark up and half-carries, half-drags him away as fast as humanly possible. Hopefully those two people he stepped on by accident aren't gravely injured.

\---------wheeeee--------

"Hey, Tasha. Hi Clint. Don't worry, Steve, Loki and I survived," Stark babbles on obnoxiously as they ran through the halls of the empty airport, hand in hand. "Sorry I didn't call. I was kind of asleep."

Fury has sent them here out of a vague suspicion that someone is being vagely suspicious, and hopes that they could magically do something about it. Sadly, magic Loki has not, therefore he could do nothing. But apparently he was only supposed to help Stark 'get up close and personal' to the suspects, since the mortal's prosthetics have miniature cameras build into them that could send live footages back to the SHIELD headquarters for further inspection. The rest should be up to the Hawk, the Widow and the great Captain.

No one expects them to be caught up in an attack from a third party.

Spotting a small corner that is mostly hidden from view, he pulls Stark over and pushes him down. The mortal scowls, looking up at him in confusion, glowing blue eyes narrowing as he sighs. Those eyes— they matches the arc reactor that Loki has seen on his chest before, whenever he wears shirts that is a little sheer. They are pretty, he decides, if not a little uncanny.

"You stay here."

"I'm _Iron Man—_ "

"And a _mortal_ ," Loki snarls, feeling something unpleasant welling up inside him as he pulls off his leather hooded jacket and drapes it over the shorter man, who just keep staring at him as if he is ridiculous. "You don't have your armor with you. Just stand back for a while, because it seems like you are what they're after."

_And they can't take you._

The idiot mortal looks like he is about to protest again, but just raised his arms in defeat and slumps back into his corner.

"Fine." Loki has begun to walk away before he has a chance to change his mind, when Stark speaks up again. "Poor, blind Tony isn't allowed to join in on the superhero fun. I'm pretty sure that's ableism— hey wait, you still there?"

He briefly considers making his escape, but instead he stops and turns. "Yes?"

Much to his horror, Stark reaches up to his right eye and promptly plucks out the thing without a wince. Then throws it at him.

"Keep it," he winks. Or at least, attempts to. His eyelids sink back without the prosthetic and stay closed, though Loki could see a bit of pink peaking out from under dark lashes. "It has a tracking device and camera on it. Connected to Jarvis too and ooh, self destruct in this really awesome explosion when it's not in contact with any registered person for longer than ten seconds. Jarv? You have Loki in your 'ok people' list right? Good. I don't want the thing to blow up in your face, but y'know. Real piece of cutting edge technology right there."

"You keep a _bomb_ in your _eye socket._ " Thank the Norns for his impeccable catching skills, though the man's aim is supprisingly good.

"Actually, I keep two. One in each socket. and three in my body if you count this baby." He points to his chest and grins. Loki opens his mouth, ready to let him know what exactly he thought of his absolute insanity, but his eyes fall onto the prosthetic in his hand and he took a moment to marvel at this human's ability to create instead.

Stark has managed to squeeze a camera and then some into this tiny thing, not to mention the other brilliant creations that he has made in spite of everything. Loki has yet heard of the full story, but the first Iron Man suit was apparently built in a cave while Stark was kept a prisoner. Undeniably, he is impressed. Which says a lot, since not many people are on par with him in terms of creativity and intelligence.

It also says a lot about how easy they clicked. For the past few months, they had been in each other's company often since Loki now lives in the Stark Tower and works for the man— the god would be lying if he said he didn't develop any fondness for the human. But as soon as these attractions surfaces, he is brutally reminded of the man's mortality.

Injuries that would just be an inconvenience to him could prove to be fatal. Diseases that barely afflict him could wipe out the entire human race. What Loki considers his normal strength is bone-crushing to Tony Stark, and even though he knows what the Man of Iron is capable of, he couldn't help being a little protective.

"I will come back for you."

\-----------wheeeeeeeee-----------

Sitting there is really boring.

Really really boring.

But he manages.

Sometime later the entire building rumbles and pieces of the ceiling started falling out, so Tony runs off to find cover. He finds a table/counter top thing and crawls in under it. Good enough.

"Hey? I don't know what's going on here? But it sounds like a lot of things are coming down," he says, to whoever who is watching the live feed. For the past... god knows how long, he hasn't been able to contact anyone other than Jarvis. Which is good enough, he supposes. Tony will work with what he gets, and though the new Mark VII isn't done with its final phases, he would use it if he needs to. Can't die yet. "Jarvis. Relay this message to Mr Reindeer Wannabe."

Tony snaps on his bracelets. Is the Mark VII gonna crash through his pretty floor-to-ceiling glass window? The Mark VII is gonna crash through his pretty floor-to-ceiling glass window. Fuck, there's gonna be glass shards everywhere when he gets back, and _Loki's_ gonna damn well clean it up. That's what he gets for ditching him. "You promised to pick me up and yet you leave me stranded in a pile of rubble. That's not how you get girls, Rudolph. Not that I'm a lady."

For a while, the hall is silent except for his (slightly panicked) breathing. The building seems to have stilled, and he considers waiting it out until someone comes and get him. But alas, it couldn't just stop there, could it?

The next rumble comes suddenly, followed by thunder so loud it hurts his ears even after he had covered them with his hands. The ceiling starts coming down again and he remembers yelling out the command for Jarvis to deploy the suit, but he never gets to finish. Instead, something very heavy smacks into him. And the next thing he knows, he is rolling down some... grass, that is _definitely_ not there before. Come to think of it, where the heck is he? There's no trace of a crumbling airport here, not even the noise. 

"Did I just teleport? S'that you, Loki?" he pants, fumbling in a mess of awkward limbs and confusion. "You got your voodoo mojo back? Did we just _teleport_?"

His teeth are sore, but none are broken. When they finally stops rolling, he pushes himself off the ground and spits out a blade of grass. Eww. "I seriously hope you are Loki. If you are some other dude with magical powers then this would be really awkward."

"Shut up, Stark."

"Yay, Loki!" A hand takes his shoulder, steadying him as he stands, and he returns the leather jacket to the god in exchange for his eyeball (except it's not really a ball— it's not even spherical), which he shoves back into his socket and lets it settle into place with a couple of blinks. Then he zaps the god with his cane and is rewarded with a yelp. "That's for kicking me in the face."

"In my defense, it was a hundred percent accidental. And it was not my foot— it was my head."

"Still hurts."

Loki doesn't reply to that, and they fall into a comfortable silence as they walk... somewhere. It's worrying, how easily Tony trusts an alien. He hasn't even noticed taking Loki's arm and letting him guide him. Weird. "Wait— you got your magic back? Didn't I ask that before?"

"Yes, to both," Loki replies after a while, and Tony only notices now how he sounds alarmingly upset. His hold on Loki's arm tightens just slightly, thumb begining to trace little circles as a prompt for the god to go on. "It was Thor. He came and willingly gave it back."

That... is unexpected.

"Wait— so is that a good thing or a bad thing? You are not hurt, right?" That has to be an improvement from the last time the brothers met. What with Manhattan nearly getting destroyed and Loki ending up without magic and unconscious for days, and all.

"I'm not," he sighs. "Thor gave it back as an act of good will. He wishes for my return."

"To Asgard?"

"No, to my old job as a Starbucks barista," Loki snaps. " _Yes_ to Asgard!!"

Reindeer god is definitely stressed. But before Tony could reply, he continues.

"I made sure he knows that I despise the idea, however, and he left." Now Loki just sounds confused. "On another note, I suspects that my dear brother is the 'threat' that the Director speaks of. Those that tried to take you are completely unrelated."

Okay. So things makes slightly more sense now. Slightly.

"I still have no idea where we are."

"Neither do I."

 _"What?"_ So much for trusting the god.

"It has been a while since I last had access to Yggdrasil's powers... I am a little out of practice," Loki admits sheepishly. "There is, however, something I wish to do here, now that we are away from the vultures that constantly surrounds you."

"Do you mean the paparazzis? Coz I don't have those in the Tower, y'know. Can we wait until then? I don't like being in the middle of nowhere—"

Loki effectively shuts him up with a kiss.

\----------------wwHHEEEEEEEE------------—

The little 'mistake' in their teleportation is not because he lacks skill. Back there, Loki only had a fraction of a second to teleport to Stark, grab him and get them out before the falling debris crush them. It matters not where they end up. Considering how he basically did two teleportation spells, back-to-back, in such a short amount of time... it was quite impressive. Did Stark even realize how close he was to dying? Loki himself thought that he wouldn't be able to pull it off, not without luck on their side.

(And if he didn't, there would be no one to blame other than himself. He did, after all, promised to get back to Stark before he left him there.)

The relief that surges through him when Stark gets up, seemingly unharmed, is enough to draw forth emotions he does not know was there before.

\-----------------WHEEEEEE-------------—

Tony doesn't kiss him back.

\-----------------WHEEEeeee-------------—

A day later finds them back at home, with Tony furiously working away on the last bits of the Mark VII (and making sure it has a path way to fly out without smashing anything). After that is done, he furiously worked on other designs of the suit. Touches up his cane a bit, too (he paints it red and gold, because he is a billionaire and he does what he wants).

"Stark? You are spending way too much time in the workshop," comes a certain reindeer's voice.

"No I'm not."

"It's 2 am."

"You're not my mom."

There is an exasperated sigh. "I am your personal assistant. You basically hired me to be your 'mom'."

"Um yeah, about that." Only now does he turns around to face the god. "You are fired. You make fantastic coffee and all, but that won't keep you here."

There is a stagnant pause, and he turns back to his work to keep his hands occupied because they are shaking.

"Stark, is this because of the kiss? I said I'm sorry. I—... It was a thoughtless action. I had hoped that it wouldn't interfere with our friendship..."

"Still fired." Being a boss is hard. "Shoo."

"...Fine then. I will leave, with all my belongings come next morning." The calm in his voice sounds forced, and Tony stops himself from snapping back that it is already morning. "But as a fellow Avenger, I still insist that you get some rest."

He doesn't reply.

"Please, Tony?"

"Fuck _you_."

And Tony can't take it anymore. He manages to grab the god on the first try, and pulls him down for a bruising kiss.

\---------------wheeee?--------------

Loki has an armful of seething mortal genius later, having somehow convinced him to come to bed after their angry make out session. Stark occationally insults him ("You- you stupid fucking _walnut of a God._ ") and makes it very clear that he is displeased with his constant groaning.

Yet, he doesn't leave.

"Y'know, I dated my previous personal assistant, too," the mortal speaks up after a while, sounding absolutely miserable and muffled under the blankets and pillows that he has decided to crawl under. It is becoming more and more apparent that Stark is at war with himself, not Loki. So the god doesn't take what he says about him too personally. "She broke up with me. Said that she was doing so much for me that she forgot about herself. Said that— she wanted to live her life, now, instead of throwing everything away just so she could stay in mine."

He goes silent, but Loki senses that he is not done yet and waits patiently for him to continue.

"Honestly? She is a hundred percent right. Which is why I stay strictly professional with all my employees now."

"You fired me, though."

"Oh _shut up_ , you absolute piece of _shit_." But he is laughing, and Loki laughs with him, pulling him out of his blanket. They wrestle for a bit, with Stark threatening to throw his eyes at him, before they somehow end up on the floor with tangled limbs and locked lips.

"So what are we now?" Stark asks after they finally separated, voice a bare whisper. His dirty fingers are all over Loki's face and neck, but the god would complain about the grime later. Now he just grabs a tissue from the night stand and wipes them. What in the Nine does the mortal even do in his workshop? Because sometimes Stark comes out covered in soot and other times he looks like he has been rolling in engine grease. "Don't get distracted, Blitzen."

"I don't know," he says, with such honesty that he startles himself.

"Like, are we dating? Is this you asking me out- my hands are _fine_ stop it."

"That is what you humans usually say, yes. Do you wish to, ah... 'go out' with me?"

This entire journey on Midgard has been strange. What was originally a short trip for him to clear his mind before Thor's coronation somehow turned into something more. And now he plans on staying to serve a _blind mortal_. Though honestly, when he first asked Stark for a 'human job', he didn't expect to become what Asgard would consider a servant. It is not as degrading as he thought it would be, though, and he quite enjoy it since Stark treats him as an equal and considers his inputs with great interest.

That's more than what anyone has done for him on Asgard while he was their prince.

"I don't know... Relationships are weird, Rudolph, I haven't— _god_ ," Stark groans some more, rolling off him. He just quietly makes sure the idiot mortal doesn't hit his head against a leg of the bed. "I've never even seen you. And the thing Pepper said—"

"I am not Pepper." Whoever 'Pepper' is. "And I am often told that I am very attractive, if that makes you feel any better."

"It doesn't. Now I just feel like I'm missing out."

Loki scoffs and pulls him back in for another kiss. Gentler, and he ends it with a peck on Stark's forehead. "Sleep. We shall continue this conversation next morning, if you wish."

\----------wHEEEEEEEEE-----------

They never did resume to the conversation, but Loki wakes up to Stark yelling for his cup of coffee, and he is more than happy to oblige.

Even though he ends up still keeping his job as Tony Stark's personal assistant, there are now kisses in between meetings, and he often joins the mortal in bed at night just to hold him so he could remind himself that Tony is really there. Whether he is an employer, a friend or a lover, it still soothes the years of loneliness that Loki suffered as a misfit on Asgard. Even if it's just a little, it helps.

Before he knows it, he ends up moving permanently into Stark's room.

\------------WHEEEEEEE-------------

BONUS:

 

"There are no deaths, luckily, and only a few people are badly injured," Steve finishes his little report. "We couldn't find those guys that tried to take Tony though. So we are still not sure what their intentions were..."

The Avengers come together for a meeting a week or two later. For the past days, the three powerhouses (Steve and the wonder twins) has been running back and forth doing some avenging, and... doing who knows what with SHIELD. Bruce and Tony are only part-time superheroes, and Loki isn't even technically an Avenger since he was not recruited. The god just tags along when Iron Man is fighting, like he's his sidekick or some shit. Everyone just rolls with it.

"I think Tony should lay low for now." That is Tasha.

"I whole-heartedly agree." Loki.

"'Cept like, I know none of you were there to see it but," Tony cuts in, feeling more annoyed than he would admit. His disability is more apparent to him than to anyone else— he is more than aware of the things that he can't do. But he is also extremely aware of the things that he can. "I totally subdued those two guys. No prob."

"Yes, and you would have been shot by the third had I not acted. Not to mention that your victory was only possible because you tricked them into underestimating you. It won't work a second time."

"A win is a win." Damn it. He's loosing isn't he. "And I know that. Which is why I plan on programming some more stuff into my eyeballs so I can fight without the suit. Like... like _lazers_."

The entire room erupts into groans and 'Tony _no_ 's.

He's still gonna do it anyways.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHHAAHA I MANAGED TO SQUISH THIS INTO A ONE SHOT but i might do some more one shots in this series ide k something about Loki's previous job as a Starbucks barista or how he managed to trick Tony into believing that he have real horns for weeks when he first started working for him 
> 
> or like, something angsty, like lokes finding out hes a frosty giant 
> 
> no promises tho


End file.
